We can't expect our children to know that there are multiple paths to success and happiness, but we adults surely know it, don't we? A 14-year-old friend recently sat down with me to talk about the possibility of becoming a biologist. She asked, "How do I know if that's what I want?" For a 14, 16, 18, even for a 20-year-old, there can surely be only one answer to that question: "you don't know, you can't know, none of us knows."
Yet, schools persist in teaching children that there is only one path to success and happiness, and one career to choose that represents the "right" choice for them. More important, children are encouraged in the belief that they must choose as early as grade 9 and that their future success depends on it.
By the stricken look on this young person's face, I could tell that no amount of reassurance from me would ease her mind. People whom she trusts and respects to KNOW have convinced her that she should be able to choose. At first, her natural conclusion was that there must be something wrong - WITH HER. It did not occur to her to question the "wisdom" of her teachers.
A few days ago, I asked how the decision-making was going. My young friend gave me a confident smile and announced that she had made her choice. In being forced to choose a path, she had been taught an important lesson...
As far as her school is concerned, what she actually might want to do with her life is not so important as having an impressive answer to that question, "What do you want to do when you grow up?" For a while, at least until she figures-out where her passions lie, my young friend will answer, "I want to be a lawyer." Oddly, that answer, from a 14-yr-old, seems to get a positive response.
Perhaps, one day, she will find herself in studying law, and maybe she will discover a true passion for justice. Or maybe, she will drop-out and go to art school, wondering what ever made her choose law in the first place.
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